Houston, we have a problem

I was so excited for Bud Norris's opening day start tomorrow night and so excited for the opportunity to use that start as the springboard to a completely dominating performance in this league that I forgot one tiny detail.

I typed "Norris" "Norris, Bud" "Bud" and "Bud Norris" all into the player search bar and it still never dawned on me. And then I went and scanned through each one of your rosters to see who stole The Bud.

Just as I was preparing to wade into the New York Times obit section to see if I missed something truly tragic, it finally dawned on me.

The NL Central probably wasn't the worst division in baseball last year (say hello NL West!) but the AL West might have been the best. I don't think that will change much this year, and it looks to be an ugly year in Houston. But expect Sunday night, when Bud Norris takes the bump, to be spectacular.

A purely replacement level team projects to win about 47 games in a season--a .294 winning percentage. (Here's a pretty good article giving a rationale for replacement level.) Last year, Houston won 55. Could they be worse than replacement level this year?

Awards voting

Did you know that BBWAA now releases all voters' ballots for end of year awards? It began in 2012 (meaning I'll never know who cast the lone vote for AJ Pierzynski in 2006). Take it all in right here.

Do you think The Cowboy knows that Kimbrel only pitched 62.2 innings last year? He was absolutely spectacular in those innings, but he still only pitched 4% of his team's total innings. And if you put Craig Kimbrel at number two, don't you have to include Aroldis Chapman somewhere in the top 10? They had pretty similar seasons.

At least he's not as bad as Doug Padilla, who put Hunter Pence on his ballot. Here's Pence's second half slash line: 213/278/354.

It got me thinking: who is the best active player to never get an MVP vote?

Retired
WAR: 27
MVP votes: 0

Da 300 Club

Of active players with 300 or more career home runs, four of them have more than 100 career stolen bases. Who are those four?

Another four members of the 300 career home runs club have 20 or fewer career stolen bases. Who are those four?

And don't even think of lumping my boy Dunn in with the ice wagons. He has 91 career stolen bases, making him a solid two tool player. It's just that his speed is like one of those Allen wrenches that come with the desk you bought from IKEA.

The Los Angeles Dumpster Fires

I used to have an Oakland A's cap that featured the white elephant logo. Unfortunately, a few years ago, my then-pregnant wife mistook it for a barf bag while riding in the car.

In 1902, John McGraw derisively called the Athletics team (then in Philadelphia) a "big, white elephant." Connie Mack embraced the term, doing what cultural studies majors would call "re-appropriating it," and had a white elephant put on all uniforms. The A's of course went on to have a pretty successful next dozen years, going to the World Series five times and winning it three, until Mack pulled a Jeff Luhnow and blew up the team in 1915.

I've heard Ryan Sims and other so-called baseball experts refer to this year's Dodgers team as a possible "dumpster fire." Here's to hoping the Dodgers pull a Connie Mack and embrace the term, emblazoning bullpen jackets and batting practice caps with the picture to the left.

I'd buy one. And I'd keep it away from my wife.

Long May You Run

The player who has the longest consecutive tenure with his current club is Mariano Rivera. He was acquired by the Yankees in 1990. There are twelve other players who were acquired in the year 2000 or earlier and have been with their current club since then. 

Who are they?

2013 Umpire Crews

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL - UMPIRING CREWS 2013 ^[21]

Crew	Crew Chief	Umpire 2	Umpire 3	Umpire 4
Crew A	12 Gerry Davis	6 Mark Carlson	58 Dan Iassogna	91 Brian Knight
Crew B	32 Dana DeMuth	55 Ángel Hernández	88 Doug Eddings	39 Paul Nauert
Crew C	36 Tim McClelland	35 Wally Bell	18 Brian Runge	51 Marvin Hudson
Crew D	17 John Hirschbeck	77 Jim Reynolds	61 Bob Davidson	92 James Hoye
Crew E	3 Tim Welke	57 Mike Everitt	60 Marty Foster	87 Scott Barry
Crew F	5 Dale Scott	14 Bill Miller	54 C. B. Bucknor	97 Todd Tichenor
Crew G	22 Joe West	34 Sam Holbrook	49 Andy Fletcher	30 Rob Drake
Crew H	37 Gary Darling	41 Jerry Meals	1 Bruce Dreckman	50 Paul Emmel
Crew I	38 Gary Cederstrom	44 Kerwin Danley	23 Lance Barksdale	85 Vic Carapazza
Crew J	24 Jerry Layne	53 Greg Gibson	21 Hunter Wendlestedt	64 Alan Porter
Crew K	9 Brian Gorman	27 Larry Vanover	11 Tony Randazzo	79 Manny Gonzalez
Crew L	8 Jeff Kellogg	56 Eric Cooper	43 Paul Schrieber	75 Chad Fairchild
Crew M	20 Tom Hallion	46 Ron Kulpa	10 Phil Cuzzi	68 Chris Guccione
Crew N	33 Mike Winters	47 Mark Wegner	63 Laz Diaz	95 Tim Timmons
Crew O	66 Jim Joyce	45 Jeff Nelson	28 Jim Wolf	15 Ed Hickox
Crew P	65 Ted Barrett	72 Alfonso Marquez	16 Mike DiMuro	2 Dan Bellino
Crew Q	25 Fieldin Culbreth	7 Brian O'Nora	52 Bill Welke	80 Adrian Johnson