One of the week's better things

The names are too well-known for my taste. I've always maintained that Sergio Romo's facial hair (and entire look) is better than Wilson's, and it's a shame how Rollie Fingers has overshadowed the rest of those A's teams that had spectacular facial hair all up and down the roster. But we all know how closers are overrated, and we all know that Tony LaRussa is to blame for it.

Joe West is the Worst

Even in old age, Joe West continues to pioneer new ways to infuriate managers and players.  A few highlights of note from the clip below:  the classic take-off-the-mask-and-start-walking-towards-the-dugout move before tossing Girardi; the dismissive left-handed ejection wave; the bemused smirk West wears the entire time Joe is yelling at him.  The one thing old age can't touch is Joe West's undeservedly massive ego.  Sure, he may not be throwing players to the ground anymore, but at least he's giving the crowd of 41,200 what he thinks they want:  Joe West.

Who or What is -_- ?

Like a poorly managed viral marketing campaign, I've probably let the once mysterious symbol become a little stale.  Alwell.  -_- is the unpronouncable (to my knowledge) team name for our newest ECBer, Brian Stevens, a man who works with emoticons like Picasso worked with paints or Chuck works with production functions. Stevens is a budding Nationals fan (with a New York past) who comes to us with a preexisting fantasy (hockey) rivalry with John. I also overheard him say that given the outcome of the draft and his experience with the Zech family, that this league was going to be even easier than he thought.  We'll see.

-_-

Joe Paterson and Gregg Williams

There is indeed an interesting connection between the marginal middle reliever for the Diamondbacks and the disgraced defensive coordinator.

Did that opening 'hook' you?  If not, what about that last pun?  No?

Paterson took over in the ninth inning of a 9-0 game against the Phillies yesterday, then promptly made it 9-5 without recording an out.  This disastrous - although relatively harmless - outing followed on the heels of another outless appearance against the Braves where Paterson gave up 4 H, a walk, and 2 ER.  For those keeping track, that makes ten consecutive batters reaching base safely to go along with 7 ER.  That has to be a record for an NL reliever, right?  Sadly, I don't know because I refuse to pay $32/year to find out (baseball-reference.org play index subscription).

In any event, I am not aware of any NL reliever who gave up more runs without denting the IP column (Paul Wilson did give up 7 ER in 2003 and 8 ER in 2005 as a starter for the Reds).  I do know that it's not an MLB record.  Hank Borowy gave up 9 ER in relief without recording an out for the Detroit Tigers against the St. Louis Browns in 1951, and Bob Kammeyer gave up 8 ER in relief without recording an out for the New York Yankees against the Cleveland Indians in 1979.  Borowy's streak is actually 10 ER, though, since his previous appearance ended when he allowed a walk-off RBI single to Indians catcher Jim Hegan.  For our purposes, however, I want to highlight Kammeyer's (rather meager) effort.

Although 8 ER and no outs is fairly memorable, Bob Kammeyer is probably best known for what happened after he got yanked from the game.  I'll let the Modesto Bee take it from here: "What's it all about?"

The original bounty scandal!  Gregg Williams is old hat - Billy Martin was the innovator.

Better than birdwatching

I sometimes make an attempt to be an acolyte of the umpire game, but I can't hold a candle to the guys over at Close Call Sports. They're doing some special things over there, so I urge you to go take a look.

My goal of learning all strike three mechanics is child's play. I've got to learn the calls.

(Very) Early Season Surprises

Rosters are still in flux and the season is not yet a month old, but that's not going to stop me from talking about some early season ECB surprises (sample sizes be damned!):

1.  Jordan Schafer - Team of Density.  I'm a sucker for the 'highly regarded prospect getting another shot with a second - and usually lesser - organization' story line.  (Even though Lastings Milledge did his worst to taint that narrative for me.)

2.  Chase Headley - Marginal Futility.  I knew he'd come through!  Chase has been accumulating stats in my team log since maybe 2007 (?), but at the latest 2008.  Man, this is sweet.

3.  The Cardinals - Carlos Beltran and Rafael Furcal (John Buck All-Stars), Kyle Lohse (-----MendozaLine----), Lance Lynn (Take Back ECB).  The rejuvenating power of the St. Louis Cardinals knows no bounds when Rafael Furcal can hit .360 for even a few weeks in 2012.  Carlos Beltran hasn't looked this good since sporting Royal blue, Kyle Lohse has NEVER looked this good, and then as long as things are a bit nutty why not throw Lance Lynn in there, too.  I'm attributing all of this to Dave Duncan.  I don't care that he's not there anymore.  Also, if these inexplicable performances continue think about all of the 'Cardinals fans are the best in baseball' articles we're staring at to try to explain this.  They need to fail.  They just do.  Maybe I'm being uncharitable, though.  Lohse has had a few good starts over the years.

The Real Reason Pitch F/X Is So Great

I guess if you want to analyze the percentage of swinging strikes Drew Pomeranz is getting on his changeup, pitch f/x is a pretty cool tool.  My favorite use, though, is to look up strike calls that I found particularly galling or were the catalyst for an ejection.  Because I'm like that.

Anyway, Buck Showalter (a personal favorite) recently got tossed by Angel Campos for arguing balls and strikes.  The first pitch below is what did it:

One of the many, many reasons I love baseball is check out where the second pitch was located.  Classic veteran pitcher move.  Love it.

Hello Pilgrims

We're not just playing a game based on a game here.

We're building "a heightened sensitivity and a noticing capacity." We're pilgrims on life's labyrinthine base paths, elevating each swing and miss to divine levels. Our saints are Tommy Dean, Desi Relaford, Alex Cora, Ryan Doumit, and Oliver Perez. Our sacred text is the score book, and we're trying to stay afloat in the deep and murky waters of commentary and heresy that is the internet.

I was trying for the opening scene about 108 beads in a rosary, but this one's short and I think it's clean.

The Pennsylvania Runs Drought

The only teams in the NL currently scoring fewer than 3 runs per game are the Phillies (2.85) and the Pirates (2.17).  A little less than half of our fantasy league is acutely aware of the Phils' offensive struggles and I imagine the entirety of our league is familiar with the general difficulties that come with being a Pirate.  Since I am drawn to baseball failure much more than baseball success, this seemed like the perfect jumping off point for examining the teams that have proved most fruitless in pushing runs across the plate.

The Flyin' Hawaiian may be out now, but at least he got on base.

First, a little context:  It's quite rare for an NL team to score less than 3.5 R/G over the course of a season.  The last team to accomplish this feat was the 1992 Dodgers at 3.38 R/G.  Even Orel pitched like crap that season for the 99-loss Dodgers.  You have to go way back to the 1969 Padres to cross the magical 3 R/G threshold, when the immortal Tommy Dean played a below-average SS and compiled a SLG (.245) that was actually lower than his OBP (.251).  These things happen when you're a career .180 hitter.

Turned out that Tommy Dean was not, in fact, a star of any variety.

Naturally, hanging over all these run comparisons are pretty dramatic era differences (as well as ERA differences).  For something a bit more contemporary, the last time the Phils finished last in runs was back in 2000 with the lethal double-play combination of Desi Relaford and Mickey Morandini.

If only hitting was as easy as looking good.

That Phils team did manage 4.37 R/G, which really underscores the dramatic changes the game has undergone just in the recent past - that total is significantly better than the 2011 league average of 4.13.  My, how times - and muscles masses - have changed over the past twelve seasons.

The last time the Pirates finished last in the NL in runs was back in... 2010.  For those who might be wondering, only PETCO and Aaron Rowand's 331 ABs stood between them and last place last season.

Anyway, the overall message of this is 'take heart Phils' fans' (if you're a Pirates fan, I'm not going to condescend to you with a cheerful message of hope), those missing runs are piling up somewhere and the Fightin's will almost surely be above 3.5 R/G before you know it.  Provided, of course, you can find someone to play 3B other than Placido Polanco.

Exciting Night in Brew Town

I like the Brewers, and you'd think I'd want them to beat the Dodgers as they're intra-division foes of the Rockies, but I just couldn't muster much happiness in the way the Brewers won this one.

I think it had to do with the identity of the man scoring.

Just lots of bad here: bad hit, bad throw, bad baserunning, bad umpiring.

This one's going to leave a bad taste in Mattingly's mouth.

Pay to See

Someone just made a poor life decision.

There are good players and then there are the players you pay to see.  Over the years, I've paid to see hitting, pitching, and even a little bit of running (I would buy a ticket for the possibility of a Jose Reyes triple).  Rick Ankiel is the first player I would pay to see throw.  Seriously, it's [expletive] amazing.

You don't run on Rick Ankiel.

I'm too young for Jesse Barfield and I never saw Vlad Guerrero in his prime, but I dunno.  It's pretty awesome to see.

Addendum:  So I see the Ankiel highlight made it to the barren wasteland known as Grantland.  Damn it.  Also, in case anyone questions throwing it on a fly to the plate, Rick Ankiel regularly throws strikes to home plate because Rick Ankiel doesn't care:

That being said, he'll one-hop it if he has to:

There's no joy in PETCO

My team dropped back below .500 today. The Phils are throwing Juan Pierre out there to bat leadoff. The Nationals gave up 3 in the top of the 11th today.

But at least we ain't following the Padres.

Not only do they get feasted upon by the Dodgers early in the year and have to wear those silly camouflage unis on Sundays (they were in Chavez Ravine today), but they somehow manage to bunt into triple plays.

Dale Scott's the loser in this one. He eventually got the call right (it was fair), but he deked all of the Padres runners first. I guess he'll claim that he didn't signal a foul ball, but Vin Scully saw him do it, and no one can fool Vin Scully.

Just a bit outside

I got a great look at Larry Vanover's ring 'em up call the other day. Partly it was thanks to Strasburg nasty stuff and partly to the expanded strike zone.

I also got a good look at Vanover's ejection move.

Exchanging Pleasantries

While Curt is the ultimate connoisseur of ejections, I have always found myself drawn more to the unpredictable realm of intra-player squabbles.  For me, the absence of an authority figure lends more dramatic possibility to the occasional flareup.  Additionally, these are the types of conflicts that can really become compelling subplots for this season and beyond, adding to the richness of a game that has become more fraternal than ever - players changing teams, sharing agents, sponsors, camps, off-season workouts/trainers, etc.  In that regard, I'm always heartened to see some personal animosity on the diamond.  Below is a video of a run-in between Sandoval and Bloomquist over some alleged pitch/location relay from Bloomquist's second base vantage point to the batter.  Note how gleeful the episode makes Mark Grace.  I was just as gleeful.  Enjoy:

19.5

.233 average and 8 RBIs
1st Round Pick with 2 hits and 1 XBH
1 HR and 1 Win

Do those numbers belong to your Philadelphia Phillies? Nope, its the amazing Take Back ECB lineup! I can't say I've ever seen someone below 20 points in a 5X5 rotisserie league. Its quite hard to do. 

Good news is, I feel like Uggla is just working out the kinks, Billingsley will be the FA pick up of the year, and I kicked Wes Helms 2.0 to the curb. Its allllll coming together.

(Now for the Phils...thats a whole different story)

Opening Salvos in the HR Distance Race

One of the few early season bright spots for Take Back ECB was a monster Bryan LaHair HR on Monday.  The 29 year old lefty has put up respectable numbers over 200 MLB ABs but the future of 1B at Wrigley is Anthony Rizzo.  Unless it's not.

LaHair's 460 foot HR currently holds the top distance spot in the NL (bettering Jay Bruce's 440 foot blast on April 5th):

This has no place in the game of baseball

In Ozzie's defense, in the same article in which he claimed to love Castro, he also called him an [expletive]. But I guess he calls everyone an expletive, doesn't he?

Whoops

Telling it like he thinks it is.

Turns out that the rewards of spouting off as an uninformed macho jackass are very context-specific - while it has richly rewarded Ozzie in the fantasy realm of professional sports, it is apparently not quite as profitable or cute among weightier topics.

By The Way, Ryan Zimmerman Still Can't Throw (A Continuing Series)

For those who don't see the Nationals on a regular basis, you may not realize that star 3B and face of the franchise Ryan Zimmerman can't really throw a baseball.  This, sadly, is not hyperbole.  Unfortunately, he is also a wizard with the glove - a fact that lends an air of tragedy to his predicament.  Viewers of baseball highlight shows may have seen this play he made against the Cubs:

When I say he 'can't really throw' I mean that he can't throw conventionally.  Instead he sidearm slings everything.  This presents challenges for an MLB 3B because it means that he needs to approach everything form the side and create awkward momentum for himself to justify his throwing motion.  Witness:

That's completely unnecessary and no other 3B would make the play like that.  These aren't cherry-picked examples, either.  This is every play.  Why does he do this?  How great are his problems throwing conventionally?  We'll answer these and other questions as 'By The Way, Ryan Zimmerman Still Can't Throw' continues over the course of the season.

Better Know an Umpire

I usually do my best to avoid Deadspin, but a link took me to their ongoing series called Better Know an Umpire, and the place has been somewhat redeemed.

Some men aspire to help the needy, be a good and loving husband and father, or make the world a bit better than they found it. My life's only ambition is to wow a cocktail party by demonstrating every umpire's strike 3 call.

I'm on my way to that goal now.

Best Opening Day Ever

Every Opening Day is special, but I'm going to remember this one particularly fondly:  John Lannan starts the season in AAA Syracuse!

The beard did not help his cause.

Can a trade be far behind?  I hope not because this feels kind of like a zombie movie where the heroes all take a moment to breathe a sigh of relief and say 'thank God that's over' right before a zombie hand comes crashing through the window by their heads.  This intrepid baseball observer is keeping his head on a swivel until Lannan is with another organization.

Speaking of which, if he winds up on the Rockies the customized j-shirts are on me, James, Curt, and Megan:

A steal at twice the price.

Baseball Prospectus Projected 2012 Wins

NL East

Miami - 88

Philadelphia - 88

Atlanta - 87

Washington - 83

New York - 79

NL Central

St. Louis - 89

Milwaukee - 86

Cincinnati - 85

Chicago - 74

Pittsburgh - 72

Houston - 62

NL West

Arizona - 94

San Francisco - 86

Los Angeles - 82

Colorado - 73

San Diego - 71

It's Now Officially Funny Because X-Rays Were Negative

Tulo politely discusses the details of his contract extension with Ubaldo.