The Melky Way

From today's New York Times:

Cabrera could still win the NL batting title. He has 501 plate appearances, one less than the minimum required to win a batting championship for a player on a team playing 162 games. However, under 10.22(a) of the Official Baseball Rules, he would win the batting title if an extra hitless at-bat is added to his average and it remains higher than that of any other qualifying player.

I hope this happens, not because I condone doping but because I like big, soul-searching messes, especially when they have to do with batting titles. You thought people were upset with Reyes when he sat out after clinching his title, wait until you see this!

Who's that slugger?

The players on this list
have muscles all around.
They got them by syringe,
and now they're sorrow-bound.

I've listed season totals
of hitters' bags by four.
You'd think with all that juicing
F.P. would have hit more.

So match the season totals
with the cheater's dirty name,
and don't appeal to Baseball Ref,
or tarnish our fair game.

1. 16, 25, 24, 19, 33, 25, 34, 46, 37, 33, 42, 40, 37, 34, 49, 73, 46, 45, 45, 5, 26, 28

2. 6, 20, 20, 27, 33, 43, 38, 41, 41, 12, 32, 37, 14, 32, 13, 6, 13, 1

3. 2, 3, 10, 12 20, 5

4. 0, 1, 4, 0, 0, 26, 33, 25, 13, 3

5. 4, 5, 10, 2, 33, 20, 27, 16, 42, 21, 22, 34, 43, 36, 25, 39, 36, 34, 6, 25, 19, 10

6. 0, 0, 0, 1, 2, 2, 4, 2, 3, 1, 4, 2, 1

The OPS Alligators

As an NL loyalist who is deeply suspicious of constant interleague play as the first step to implementing the DH across all of baseball, I've put together a puzzle below to honor those pitchers who take their hitting duties seriously.  There are four pitchers below - each of them has a better and worse OPS (non-adjusted) than a member of the position player pool.  Be the first to correctly fill in all the blanks to win a prize.  For example, at a .581 OPS on the season Jordan Zimmermann sports a better mark than Orlando Hudson (.575), but is a few points below league-favorite John Buck (.591):

Orlando Hudson < Jordan Zimmermann < John Buck

The pitchers:

_________ < Jaime Garcia < __________

_________ < Cole Hamels < __________

_________ < Mike Leake < __________

_________ < Stephen Strasburg < __________

'Less than' player pool:

Melky Cabrera

Todd Helton
Nyer Morgan

Scott Rolen

'Greater than' player pool:
Ryan Braun
Ryan Howard

Jordan Schafer

Chris Young

Where Home Run Kings do their damage

There are 22 active players with more than 300 home runs. I'm going to list the five parks in which a player most frequently homered and the number of homers in each, and you identify the player. I'll leave the name of the first park blank, so it's not too much of a cakewalk.

Example:


a. ______________, 216
b. Chase Field, 13
c. Dodger Stadium, 13
d. Olympic Stadium, 9
e. Busch Stadium, 9


Answer: Todd Helton


Here we go!

1.
a. ________________, 124
b. Rangers Ballpark, 98
c. Kingdome, 60
d. Yankee Stadium III, 49
e. Safeco Field, 40


2.
a. _______________, 88
b. Yankee Stadium III, 75
c. Turner Field, 21
d. Network Associates Coliseum, 20
e. Angel Stadium, 20

3.
a. _______________, 124
b. PNC Park, 40
c. Minute Maid Park, 22
d. Miller Park, 22
e. Great American Ball Park, 14

4.
a. _______________, 126
b. Nationals Park, 39
c. Wrigley Field, 27
d. US Cellular, 21
e. Cinergy Field, 21

5.
a. _______________, 87
b. Dolphin Stadium, 65
c. Jacobs Field, 11
d. US Cellular, 10
e. Kauffman Stadium, 9

6.
a. _______________, 222
b. Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium, 33
c. Shea Stadium, 19
d. Dolphin Stadium, 16
e. Coors Field, 13

7.
a. _______________, 83
b. Camden Yards, 73
c. Minute Maid Park, 18
d. SkyDome, 17
e. Rangers Ballpark, 15

8.
a. _______________, 74
b. Busch Stadium, 34
c. Great American Ball Park, 27
d. Busch Stadium II, 19
e. SkyDome, 13

9.
a. _______________, 245
b. Comerica Park, 17
c. Metrodome, 16
d. Kauffman Stadium, 16
e. Jacobs Field, 14

10.
a. _______________, 166
b. Olympic Stadium, 17
c. Veterans Stadium, 15
d. Yankee Stadium III, 14
e. Chase Field, 13

The Legend Begins

Starling Marte hit a HR last night on the first major league pitch he saw:

The last slugger to manage such a feat?  None other than one-time Nationals pitching prospect (and current Oakland A's starter) Tommy Milone:

Manager as Player Quiz

My favorite manager of all time, Earl Weaver, never played in the major leagues. There are a handful of active managers who also never played in the majors: Buck Showalter, Manny Acta, Joe Maddon, Jim Leyland, Fredi Gonzalez, and Terry Collins. However, most managers had less than illustrious to mediocre (or slightly above average) careers. I’m going to list the teams a manager played for in chronological order, and you need to name the manager.

1. New York Yankees

2. Los Angeles Dodgers

3. Chicago White Sox, Baltimore Orioles, Atlanta Braves, Tampa Bay Devil Rays

4. Detroit Tigers, Los Angeles Dodgers, Kansas City Royals, Pittsburgh Pirates, Detroit Tigers

5. Chicago Cubs, Colorado Rockies, New York Yankees, Chicago Cubs, St. Louis Cardinals

6. Milwaukee Brewers, Toronto Blue Jays, St. Louis Cardinals, San Francisco Giants

7. Chicago White Sox, New York Mets, New York Yankees, Los Angeles Dodgers

8. Houston Astros, New York Mets, San Diego Padres

9. Seattle Mariners, Kansas City Royals, Cleveland Indians, Toronto Blue Jays, San Francisco Giants, Toronto Blue Jays

10. Atlanta Braves, Los Angeles Dodgers, San Francisco Giants, Oakland A’s

11. Baltimore Orioles, Atlanta Braves, Philadelphia Phillies, Chicago Cubs

12. Minnesota Twins, Los Angeles Dodgers

13. Los Angeles Dodgers, California Angels, San Diego Padres, New York Mets, Seattle Mariners

14. Los Angeles Dodgers, Minnesota Twins, Baltimore Orioles, Cleveland Indians, Houston Astros

15. Los Angeles Dodgers, Seattle Mariners, San Diego Padres, San Francisco Giants, Philadelphia Phillies, Cincinnati Reds

Cannonball

Do you hear that splash?

That's the sound of starting pitchers dropping back into the free agent pool. Man, it's rough out there.

Johan Santana, Jair Jurrgens, James McDonald, Trevor Bauer (who went to Triple-A), Travis Wood, and Bud Norris (who is not the man pictured) were hammered in their last start(s) and promptly waived by their fantasy teams.The last one kind of hurts a little.

It's getting ugly in Houston. So ugly, in fact, that the crossword puzzle world is starting to notice. In this week's Inkwell puzzle, ASTRO was the answer to the following clue: "NL player certain to be traded midseason, if he's any good".

Bad Closer/Good Samaritan

Sure, K-Rod and his 1.6 WHIP may no longer be striking fear into the hearts of opposing batters, but just ask yourself: Is it better to be loved or feared?  (On a pop cultural note - Bill Simmons alert! - I found Iron Man's mangling of Machiavelli annoying.)  If last night's walk-off sacrifice fly was any indication, put K-Rod firmly in the 'love' camp:

Kratz not only got to score the winning run, he got to slide right into the arms of K-Rod.  Weird.

Initial Impressions

I was looking through rosters today, and I noticed all the fun initials. So I decided to make a puzzle for you. Based on the initials of players, you figure out the team. To make it more fun, all of the players within each team's clue were born in the same country.

Example:
RAD
DW
ID
CY
LD

Answer:
Mets. R.A. Dickey, David Wright, Ike Davis (who seems like more of a Superego guy to me), Chris Young (who is not a CY contender), and Lucas Duda (who may or may not have a learning disability) all play for the Mets and are all from the United States.

If a player's first name is initials, those are the first two initials of the clue (like R.A. Dickey).

1. RZ, JZ, GG, SS

2. JAH, JDM, WW, BN, BB

3. CG, MS, RB, RH

4. CZ, OI, AS, EM

5. IS, MK (Only two, but that should give you a hint about the country.)

6. DD, SS, JJ, LL, BB

7. JA, JC, AS, WV

One of these things is not like the others

Name	BB%	K%	ISO
Adam Dunn	18.80%	36.70%	0.307
Pedro Alvarez	9.50%	30.80%	0.251
Kirk Nieuwenhuis	8.30%	30.40%	0.131
Carlos Pena	14.60%	30.30%	0.167
Mike Napoli	12.80%	30.10%	0.189
Jordan Schafer	8.80%	29.40%	0.085
Rickie Weeks	13.10%	28.70%	0.145
Danny Espinosa	7.80%	28.20%	0.142
Chris Davis	5.10%	27.90%	0.197
Dan Uggla	15.90%	27.40%	0.17

(from Fangraphs)


Those are some of my favorite players right there. There's even an article about them in this week's Time Magazine (sorry, subscription req'd).

I began following baseball closely in 2001. Coincidentally, that was Adam Dunn's first year in the majors. My life as a fan has been one, long search to find the words to describe his powers. This season, he's taken it to a new level. Every night before I sleep, I pray that he finishes this season with a sub .200 BA and 45 home runs.

I can't help but like this guy, even if I shouldn't.

Isn't it just Gerald Laird's luck to run into the only player fatter than him in the entire league?

Lots of players have the misfortune of playing for TLR, but not all of them embrace it with as much glee as Gerald Laird seemed to last year. In my book, that's just inexcusable. No, give me a player like Brendan Ryan.

On a related note, I'll be rooting for the AL tomorrow night, for the first time in my life.

3TO

I was lucky enough to catch a AAA game in Rochester last weekend. The Red Wings were out of town, but Rochester is also hosting the Empire State Yankees home games this season. That meant I got to see Jack Cust and Russell Branyan hit 4 and 5 in the Yankees lineup.

It was pure bliss.

I don't follow the Yankees very closely, but I imagine both players will get some at bats for the big league club this season (it will be Branyan's 12th different team), and we can guess the type of lines they'll put up.

 Here was Jack Cust's line last Friday night: 1-4 1HR 1BB 3K. Of course he played DH because I'm pretty sure Jack Cust does not own a glove. There's nothing slower than Jack Cust's walk back to the dugout after a strikeout. He stares at his shoes as they drag through the grass, and for those 15 seconds, the earth stops spinning.

Branyan also hit a home run on the first pitch he saw. It was one of the loudest things I've heard.

Francis Outduels Strasburg

In the contest between the immovable object (Nationals team batting average) and the irresistible force (Jeff Francis' ERA), it was the Nats who prevailed.  Let no man doubt their offensive futility!

The Rockies' one-man rotation.

"Cowardly"

That's a paraphrase of the word Joe Maddon used to describe Davey Johnson's actions last night. His offense? Asking Tim Tschida to check Joel Peralta's glove for pine tar. The glove was soiled, Peralta was ejected, and the Nats still lost the game. The next inning, Maddon had Tschida check Mattheus's glove. But will it end there? I assume Joel Peralta has some kind of idea who ratted him out (since he played for the Nats two years ago). I assume that person's identity will be whispered throughout MLB clubhouses, including the one in DC. It's easy to say this is a cut and dried case of Peralta cheating and Peralta getting caught, but baseball is famous for its unwritten rules, and Davey Johnson breached a big one in this case. I think Joe Maddon is too creative to do something boring like throw at Bryce Harper tonight, but I wouldn't be surprised to see something.

Clown Question...

The guy is easily my favorite non-Phillie in the league right now. I seriously love everything about this kid. His talent, the way he doesn't give a crap, the way he hustles unnecessarily hard just to stick it in the faces of the people who think hes a prima donna. And now, hes added on giving solid interview.

Its Bryce's world, we're just living in it...

Go ahead Barry Larkin, keep telling us how you'd rather have Trout than Harper because you met him, and think hes a good kid. Great insight there on Baseball Tonight...

I'll take a medium

With the injury to Jaun Nicasio, release of Jaime Moyer and the overall terribleness of the Rockies rotation I really should have seen this coming. I was blinded by my love of Jeff Francis and blinded by the excitement that one of my Rockies jerseys might be relevant and current again. All the gory details can be found on Purple Row (fav Rox blog) and mlbtraderumors.

I'll take a medium tshirt Ryan, no matter what Curtis tells you about my girth.

464 ft

In keeping with the number-themed posts, the NL has a new long-distance HR champion - Carlos Beltran.

.408

The other Mr. Met.

David Wright is hitting .408 to start the day.  Sure, it's May and we all know he has a statistically insignificant chance of breaking the .400 mark this season, but Wright's hot start sent me off in search of the best BA seasons of the recent past.  Below is a table back to 2000 that also includes where that player's season stands in the all-time ranking of season BA (back to 1876):



Aside from his .350 average in 2001, did you remember that Larry Walker hit .366, .363, and .379 from 1997-1999?  I didn't, but I suppose that's what happens to humble heroes.  Coors Field in the 90s was a heady time/place combination.

Astros Under the Radar?

Quick - which team has the fifth-best run differential in the National League?

That's right:  Your Houston Astros.

Ejection Trends

Any new trends in the world of baseball ejections?  Glad you asked, because throwing bench players out of the game has become quite fashionable of late.

Ted Lily is excused from the proceedings on May 5th:

Omar Vizquel gets the boot on May 1st:

This is a trend (two times over a few days constitutes a trend, right?) I hope continues.  Bench players and pitchers who have just been removed from the game are two groups I always felt didn't take full advantage of their opportunity for giving umpires 'the business' without fear of reprisal (for that game, anyway).

Grumpy Old Men

You wouldn't like Chipper when he's angry.

Some great quotes from Chipper about his run-in with Jamie Moyer over being accused of relaying signs.  The best part for me is the naming of names.  Mark Lemke always seemed like that kind of player.

Also, you've got to love the bonus dig on the Phillies franchise.  This feud has it all!

My only gripe, though, is the implication that this is somehow 'cheating' or a lack of 'integrity.'  If you have signs that can be broken and relayed, then that's your own fault.  The line between 'competitive' and 'cheating' is the use of technology.  For example, remember when the Phillies were clearly caught using binoculars from the bullpen in mid-May 2010 and then promptly went into a huge, collective slump in the latter half of May 2010?  I do.  Stay classy, Philadelphia.

Fool's (Black and) Gold?

Pedro Alvarez has been on an absolute tear for the Bucs of late.  Could this finally be the real Pedro Alvarez after years of unfulfilled hype?  The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (unsuprisingly) seems to think so although the team sounds a bit more cautious.  I know James is hoping he hit gold over at the hot corner with El Toro while Zimmerman rounds into post-injury form.

Laughing Stock of the MLB

Once again...no...not the Phillies' offense.

According to Wikipedia, that is how Tim Welke is now described. I'm not sure who was most shocked, Don Mattingly, Todd Helton, or Sims when he logged on to grab Harper and saw he was already gone.

I mean, that is just incredible. How is that allowed? Is he not allowed to ask the Home Plate umpire, (or even the blind woman in section 121) for some help? This isn't just a bang-bang mistake, this is a joke.

BUT...it allows me to finally join the endless Umpire conversations on here, and include a clip from the greatest comedy of all time.

The Newest Wrigley Legend

Already the latest folk hero of Wrigleyville, Bryan LaHair is starting to turn heads nationally.  Sure, the .381/.459/.794 line to start the season helps in that regard - but what the Rick Reillys of the world really lap up (like the starved cliche hounds that they are) is when these numbers are coming from a player formerly thought of as a AAAA placeholder for Anthony Rizzo who is now moving jerseys by the pallet at the Cubs team store.  Allow ESPN's David Schoenfield to take it from here:

"[LaHair's] is a story that goes beyond numbers -- although those are spectacular, too -- one that reminds us of the hundreds of players who toil in Triple-A, on the cusp of playing in the major leagues, hoping to catch a break."

Bull Durham alert!  America loves that story and will never get tired of it.  Phillies fans may not be as fond of this particular version (and if you think I'm just trying to get in your head in advance of the big Nats/Phils series this weekend, then you're correct):

Happy Bryce-Giving!

Happy Bryce-giving everyone!  That's right, it's Bryce Harper's first home game here in D.C.  Fortuitously, it also happens to be $2 Ticket Tuesday and a Jordan Zimmermann start.  The baseball gods have been generous to us on this day.

One of the week's better things

The names are too well-known for my taste. I've always maintained that Sergio Romo's facial hair (and entire look) is better than Wilson's, and it's a shame how Rollie Fingers has overshadowed the rest of those A's teams that had spectacular facial hair all up and down the roster. But we all know how closers are overrated, and we all know that Tony LaRussa is to blame for it.

Joe West is the Worst

Even in old age, Joe West continues to pioneer new ways to infuriate managers and players.  A few highlights of note from the clip below:  the classic take-off-the-mask-and-start-walking-towards-the-dugout move before tossing Girardi; the dismissive left-handed ejection wave; the bemused smirk West wears the entire time Joe is yelling at him.  The one thing old age can't touch is Joe West's undeservedly massive ego.  Sure, he may not be throwing players to the ground anymore, but at least he's giving the crowd of 41,200 what he thinks they want:  Joe West.

Who or What is -_- ?

Like a poorly managed viral marketing campaign, I've probably let the once mysterious symbol become a little stale.  Alwell.  -_- is the unpronouncable (to my knowledge) team name for our newest ECBer, Brian Stevens, a man who works with emoticons like Picasso worked with paints or Chuck works with production functions. Stevens is a budding Nationals fan (with a New York past) who comes to us with a preexisting fantasy (hockey) rivalry with John. I also overheard him say that given the outcome of the draft and his experience with the Zech family, that this league was going to be even easier than he thought.  We'll see.

-_-

Joe Paterson and Gregg Williams

There is indeed an interesting connection between the marginal middle reliever for the Diamondbacks and the disgraced defensive coordinator.

Did that opening 'hook' you?  If not, what about that last pun?  No?

Paterson took over in the ninth inning of a 9-0 game against the Phillies yesterday, then promptly made it 9-5 without recording an out.  This disastrous - although relatively harmless - outing followed on the heels of another outless appearance against the Braves where Paterson gave up 4 H, a walk, and 2 ER.  For those keeping track, that makes ten consecutive batters reaching base safely to go along with 7 ER.  That has to be a record for an NL reliever, right?  Sadly, I don't know because I refuse to pay $32/year to find out (baseball-reference.org play index subscription).

In any event, I am not aware of any NL reliever who gave up more runs without denting the IP column (Paul Wilson did give up 7 ER in 2003 and 8 ER in 2005 as a starter for the Reds).  I do know that it's not an MLB record.  Hank Borowy gave up 9 ER in relief without recording an out for the Detroit Tigers against the St. Louis Browns in 1951, and Bob Kammeyer gave up 8 ER in relief without recording an out for the New York Yankees against the Cleveland Indians in 1979.  Borowy's streak is actually 10 ER, though, since his previous appearance ended when he allowed a walk-off RBI single to Indians catcher Jim Hegan.  For our purposes, however, I want to highlight Kammeyer's (rather meager) effort.

Although 8 ER and no outs is fairly memorable, Bob Kammeyer is probably best known for what happened after he got yanked from the game.  I'll let the Modesto Bee take it from here: "What's it all about?"

The original bounty scandal!  Gregg Williams is old hat - Billy Martin was the innovator.

Better than birdwatching

I sometimes make an attempt to be an acolyte of the umpire game, but I can't hold a candle to the guys over at Close Call Sports. They're doing some special things over there, so I urge you to go take a look.

My goal of learning all strike three mechanics is child's play. I've got to learn the calls.

(Very) Early Season Surprises

Rosters are still in flux and the season is not yet a month old, but that's not going to stop me from talking about some early season ECB surprises (sample sizes be damned!):

1.  Jordan Schafer - Team of Density.  I'm a sucker for the 'highly regarded prospect getting another shot with a second - and usually lesser - organization' story line.  (Even though Lastings Milledge did his worst to taint that narrative for me.)

2.  Chase Headley - Marginal Futility.  I knew he'd come through!  Chase has been accumulating stats in my team log since maybe 2007 (?), but at the latest 2008.  Man, this is sweet.

3.  The Cardinals - Carlos Beltran and Rafael Furcal (John Buck All-Stars), Kyle Lohse (-----MendozaLine----), Lance Lynn (Take Back ECB).  The rejuvenating power of the St. Louis Cardinals knows no bounds when Rafael Furcal can hit .360 for even a few weeks in 2012.  Carlos Beltran hasn't looked this good since sporting Royal blue, Kyle Lohse has NEVER looked this good, and then as long as things are a bit nutty why not throw Lance Lynn in there, too.  I'm attributing all of this to Dave Duncan.  I don't care that he's not there anymore.  Also, if these inexplicable performances continue think about all of the 'Cardinals fans are the best in baseball' articles we're staring at to try to explain this.  They need to fail.  They just do.  Maybe I'm being uncharitable, though.  Lohse has had a few good starts over the years.

The Real Reason Pitch F/X Is So Great

I guess if you want to analyze the percentage of swinging strikes Drew Pomeranz is getting on his changeup, pitch f/x is a pretty cool tool.  My favorite use, though, is to look up strike calls that I found particularly galling or were the catalyst for an ejection.  Because I'm like that.

Anyway, Buck Showalter (a personal favorite) recently got tossed by Angel Campos for arguing balls and strikes.  The first pitch below is what did it:

One of the many, many reasons I love baseball is check out where the second pitch was located.  Classic veteran pitcher move.  Love it.

Hello Pilgrims

We're not just playing a game based on a game here.

We're building "a heightened sensitivity and a noticing capacity." We're pilgrims on life's labyrinthine base paths, elevating each swing and miss to divine levels. Our saints are Tommy Dean, Desi Relaford, Alex Cora, Ryan Doumit, and Oliver Perez. Our sacred text is the score book, and we're trying to stay afloat in the deep and murky waters of commentary and heresy that is the internet.

I was trying for the opening scene about 108 beads in a rosary, but this one's short and I think it's clean.

The Pennsylvania Runs Drought

The only teams in the NL currently scoring fewer than 3 runs per game are the Phillies (2.85) and the Pirates (2.17).  A little less than half of our fantasy league is acutely aware of the Phils' offensive struggles and I imagine the entirety of our league is familiar with the general difficulties that come with being a Pirate.  Since I am drawn to baseball failure much more than baseball success, this seemed like the perfect jumping off point for examining the teams that have proved most fruitless in pushing runs across the plate.

The Flyin' Hawaiian may be out now, but at least he got on base.

First, a little context:  It's quite rare for an NL team to score less than 3.5 R/G over the course of a season.  The last team to accomplish this feat was the 1992 Dodgers at 3.38 R/G.  Even Orel pitched like crap that season for the 99-loss Dodgers.  You have to go way back to the 1969 Padres to cross the magical 3 R/G threshold, when the immortal Tommy Dean played a below-average SS and compiled a SLG (.245) that was actually lower than his OBP (.251).  These things happen when you're a career .180 hitter.

Turned out that Tommy Dean was not, in fact, a star of any variety.

Naturally, hanging over all these run comparisons are pretty dramatic era differences (as well as ERA differences).  For something a bit more contemporary, the last time the Phils finished last in runs was back in 2000 with the lethal double-play combination of Desi Relaford and Mickey Morandini.

If only hitting was as easy as looking good.

That Phils team did manage 4.37 R/G, which really underscores the dramatic changes the game has undergone just in the recent past - that total is significantly better than the 2011 league average of 4.13.  My, how times - and muscles masses - have changed over the past twelve seasons.

The last time the Pirates finished last in the NL in runs was back in... 2010.  For those who might be wondering, only PETCO and Aaron Rowand's 331 ABs stood between them and last place last season.

Anyway, the overall message of this is 'take heart Phils' fans' (if you're a Pirates fan, I'm not going to condescend to you with a cheerful message of hope), those missing runs are piling up somewhere and the Fightin's will almost surely be above 3.5 R/G before you know it.  Provided, of course, you can find someone to play 3B other than Placido Polanco.

Exciting Night in Brew Town

I like the Brewers, and you'd think I'd want them to beat the Dodgers as they're intra-division foes of the Rockies, but I just couldn't muster much happiness in the way the Brewers won this one.

I think it had to do with the identity of the man scoring.

Just lots of bad here: bad hit, bad throw, bad baserunning, bad umpiring.

This one's going to leave a bad taste in Mattingly's mouth.

Pay to See

Someone just made a poor life decision.

There are good players and then there are the players you pay to see.  Over the years, I've paid to see hitting, pitching, and even a little bit of running (I would buy a ticket for the possibility of a Jose Reyes triple).  Rick Ankiel is the first player I would pay to see throw.  Seriously, it's [expletive] amazing.

You don't run on Rick Ankiel.

I'm too young for Jesse Barfield and I never saw Vlad Guerrero in his prime, but I dunno.  It's pretty awesome to see.

Addendum:  So I see the Ankiel highlight made it to the barren wasteland known as Grantland.  Damn it.  Also, in case anyone questions throwing it on a fly to the plate, Rick Ankiel regularly throws strikes to home plate because Rick Ankiel doesn't care:

That being said, he'll one-hop it if he has to:

There's no joy in PETCO

My team dropped back below .500 today. The Phils are throwing Juan Pierre out there to bat leadoff. The Nationals gave up 3 in the top of the 11th today.

But at least we ain't following the Padres.

Not only do they get feasted upon by the Dodgers early in the year and have to wear those silly camouflage unis on Sundays (they were in Chavez Ravine today), but they somehow manage to bunt into triple plays.

Dale Scott's the loser in this one. He eventually got the call right (it was fair), but he deked all of the Padres runners first. I guess he'll claim that he didn't signal a foul ball, but Vin Scully saw him do it, and no one can fool Vin Scully.

Just a bit outside

I got a great look at Larry Vanover's ring 'em up call the other day. Partly it was thanks to Strasburg nasty stuff and partly to the expanded strike zone.

I also got a good look at Vanover's ejection move.

Exchanging Pleasantries

While Curt is the ultimate connoisseur of ejections, I have always found myself drawn more to the unpredictable realm of intra-player squabbles.  For me, the absence of an authority figure lends more dramatic possibility to the occasional flareup.  Additionally, these are the types of conflicts that can really become compelling subplots for this season and beyond, adding to the richness of a game that has become more fraternal than ever - players changing teams, sharing agents, sponsors, camps, off-season workouts/trainers, etc.  In that regard, I'm always heartened to see some personal animosity on the diamond.  Below is a video of a run-in between Sandoval and Bloomquist over some alleged pitch/location relay from Bloomquist's second base vantage point to the batter.  Note how gleeful the episode makes Mark Grace.  I was just as gleeful.  Enjoy:

19.5

.233 average and 8 RBIs
1st Round Pick with 2 hits and 1 XBH
1 HR and 1 Win

Do those numbers belong to your Philadelphia Phillies? Nope, its the amazing Take Back ECB lineup! I can't say I've ever seen someone below 20 points in a 5X5 rotisserie league. Its quite hard to do. 

Good news is, I feel like Uggla is just working out the kinks, Billingsley will be the FA pick up of the year, and I kicked Wes Helms 2.0 to the curb. Its allllll coming together.

(Now for the Phils...thats a whole different story)

Opening Salvos in the HR Distance Race

One of the few early season bright spots for Take Back ECB was a monster Bryan LaHair HR on Monday.  The 29 year old lefty has put up respectable numbers over 200 MLB ABs but the future of 1B at Wrigley is Anthony Rizzo.  Unless it's not.

LaHair's 460 foot HR currently holds the top distance spot in the NL (bettering Jay Bruce's 440 foot blast on April 5th):

This has no place in the game of baseball

In Ozzie's defense, in the same article in which he claimed to love Castro, he also called him an [expletive]. But I guess he calls everyone an expletive, doesn't he?

Whoops

Telling it like he thinks it is.

Turns out that the rewards of spouting off as an uninformed macho jackass are very context-specific - while it has richly rewarded Ozzie in the fantasy realm of professional sports, it is apparently not quite as profitable or cute among weightier topics.

By The Way, Ryan Zimmerman Still Can't Throw (A Continuing Series)

For those who don't see the Nationals on a regular basis, you may not realize that star 3B and face of the franchise Ryan Zimmerman can't really throw a baseball.  This, sadly, is not hyperbole.  Unfortunately, he is also a wizard with the glove - a fact that lends an air of tragedy to his predicament.  Viewers of baseball highlight shows may have seen this play he made against the Cubs:

When I say he 'can't really throw' I mean that he can't throw conventionally.  Instead he sidearm slings everything.  This presents challenges for an MLB 3B because it means that he needs to approach everything form the side and create awkward momentum for himself to justify his throwing motion.  Witness:

That's completely unnecessary and no other 3B would make the play like that.  These aren't cherry-picked examples, either.  This is every play.  Why does he do this?  How great are his problems throwing conventionally?  We'll answer these and other questions as 'By The Way, Ryan Zimmerman Still Can't Throw' continues over the course of the season.

Better Know an Umpire

I usually do my best to avoid Deadspin, but a link took me to their ongoing series called Better Know an Umpire, and the place has been somewhat redeemed.

Some men aspire to help the needy, be a good and loving husband and father, or make the world a bit better than they found it. My life's only ambition is to wow a cocktail party by demonstrating every umpire's strike 3 call.

I'm on my way to that goal now.

Best Opening Day Ever

Every Opening Day is special, but I'm going to remember this one particularly fondly:  John Lannan starts the season in AAA Syracuse!

The beard did not help his cause.

Can a trade be far behind?  I hope not because this feels kind of like a zombie movie where the heroes all take a moment to breathe a sigh of relief and say 'thank God that's over' right before a zombie hand comes crashing through the window by their heads.  This intrepid baseball observer is keeping his head on a swivel until Lannan is with another organization.

Speaking of which, if he winds up on the Rockies the customized j-shirts are on me, James, Curt, and Megan:

A steal at twice the price.

Baseball Prospectus Projected 2012 Wins

NL East

Miami - 88

Philadelphia - 88

Atlanta - 87

Washington - 83

New York - 79

NL Central

St. Louis - 89

Milwaukee - 86

Cincinnati - 85

Chicago - 74

Pittsburgh - 72

Houston - 62

NL West

Arizona - 94

San Francisco - 86

Los Angeles - 82

Colorado - 73

San Diego - 71

It's Now Officially Funny Because X-Rays Were Negative

Tulo politely discusses the details of his contract extension with Ubaldo.

A league turns its lonely eyes to you

This man won't be holding down Marginal Futility's DL spot this season, but I'm sure MF will burn a candle for him.

First Impressions

I don't know about you, but I've been watching a lot of Mariners baseball lately. Now that Brendan Ryan is out of the clutches of TLR and Chris Carpenter, I can fully appreciate his wackiness. Here's hoping the married life doesn't hamper his hirsutism.

Some of us are in mid-season form

I mean the guy embedding this video, not the guy getting run. Because the ejection is terrible. Neither Ozzie nor the umpire has his heart in it. I guess we'll just have to wait until April (I'm predicting there will be no ejections in the Land of the Rising Sun.).

Welcome Back!

East Coast Bias is back for another edition, taking its place among the other true rites of Spring - spotting the first robin, fretting over the flowers that blossomed a little too early, and panicking about a Chien-Ming Wang injury:

Don't rub it.

I have a feeling this is going to be the best season yet.